.Friday, March 14, 2008 ' 6:26 pm Y
i sent fadli to tekong diz mornin.
for his NS enlistment.
n like every other gf whose bf hadta leave for NS,
i cried truckloads.
buckets.
it wasnt easy for me.truly.
n only God noes how i felt then.
bt i noe i cnt b childish.
i noe diz day hadta cum.
i dun wana b like other gals n rant abt how NS robs my time wif my bf.
bt everythin will b so much diff.
namely d number of hrs i get 2 spend wif him frm nw on.
like frm meeting every day to only wkends?
dat too for just saturday mornin till sunday nite?
torturous.
i went wif ibu syiqa n hakim.
we were brought around tekong 1st
2 look at d environment fadli will b living in for the nxt 3 mths.
ibu cried along d way.
n i can understand y.
she's sad,
knowing that frm nw on,fadli will b on his own.
with no more ibu or me 2 tc of him
2 serve his food 4 him
2 make sure he gets enuff rest
2 do his laundry
his ironing
2 wash his plates
2 apply powder on his sensitive skin
2 hug n
tepok him 2 slp.
2 make sure he stays out of trouble.
haiz.
i reali hope he's ok now.
so aftr d tour we were given a last meal 2gether with d enlistees.
n after dat dey were called 2 fall in.
dat was it.
my tears rolled automatically.
fadli was tellin me nt 2 cry.
n dat he will b back nxt wk since fri is a public hol.
he told me 2 tc of myself
nt 2 do anythin he dislikes while he's away.
a peck on my forehead,
a kiss on my cheek,
i
salamed him,
n he went.
i managed to whisper
i love u while he was walkin off wif his camp mates.
i still cried.
all of us were silent on d way bck in d ferry.
as d ferry keep gg away frm d island,
i cnt help bt 2 feel so miserable.
n wishing i had more strength 2 go thru diz other change in our lives.
ive been wif him ever since he was underaged.
when he asked me for help in buyin cigs.
when he told me abt his dream of gettin a bike license.
n till his 18th bdae.
when i brought him into my world(then) of clubbin n booze.
when i acc him every step of d way till he gt his bike license,to the bike itself.
n nw he is 19.
goin 4 his national service.
i noe i sound like a mother if i were to say i watch him grow.
bt its true.
anyway,
d officer or huever he was told us sumthin very comfortin tho.
each family was given an envelope on government service.
so dat we can surprise d enlistees wif a letter frm d family while dey r in camp.
n d most touching thing was,
aftr receiving d envelope,
ibu looked at my teary eyes,
n passed d envo 2 me.
she told me 2 write a letter 4 fadli.
n dat i needed it more den d family did.
i was touched.overwhelmed.
so yes,
aftr diz blog entry i shall pour my heart out in a letter for him.
i shall wait patiently.
wait 4 everythin 2 b over.
n life for us will b d same again.
no.
it'll b better.
we haf plans.
n diz period of time,
we are taking 2 improve our lives individually,
before we do it 2gether.
God bless my relationship with him.
i love him deeper each n every day.
Ladysweet Yani