.Saturday, June 23, 2007 ' 11:30 pm Y
before mother gt sick,
me n my sis used 2 take advantage of her.
rarely spendin time at home.
for me,
sch.work.lepaks.outings.
she comes back from work 2 an empty home.
she'll eat n den sleeps alone.
n dats when i get home.
n when she's awake in d morn,she has 2 go 2 work.
n on wkends, i will do d same.
i rarely spend time wif her.
bt rite now,
i realized she means d world 2 me.
n dat ive been sucha bad n unfilial daughter.
now,
im willing 2 sacrifice everything.
from sch,2 work,2 my time outside of home.
99% of my time is rite beside her,
taking care of d only parent left in my life.
it hurts me.
saddens me 2 see her suffer every single day.
she's no longer d same mother hu goes out often,
active in sports,
jokes arnd wif us,
even clubs wif me.
no more.
i see her weak n sufferin in pain everyday.
she can barely walk properly.
even lyin dwn hurts her.
haiz.
Dear God.
as much as i dun deserve 2 b given sympathy 2,
pls save my mother.
let her go thru d operation smoothly.
let her b able 2 tc of us once again.
release her frm all d pain i see her in everyday.
i wud do anything 2 haf dat.
Tears.
every single nite b4 i slp.
she's d one person i love more den my life or anything else in diz world.
i lost my father.
so pls save my mom.
n i realized so much during diz period of time.
i realized wad i wan in life.
i realized wad kind of person i am.
i realized dat when im in pain.i haf problems,
when i cry,
no one's by my side.
none of my frens.
only when i cum cryin 2 dem,will dey even rmbr i exist.
still,i wud like 2 thank la chicqa dollz 4 visitin my mum n callin almost everyday askin abt her.
n abt me n my sis.
i feel so distant frm everyone i used 2 haf fun wif.
now i only haf my sis,my fadli,his fam n frens.
fadli.my pillar of strength.
now i undrstnd how my sister felt.
how dee felt.
enuff said.
Ladysweet Yani