.Friday, January 13, 2006 ' 11:11 am Y
dee.
y d hell must u bring up d past?
asal nk ungkit2 kisah lamer?
doesnt dat onli mean u keep all dat as grudges??
ape cite fira smue terklua?
ape kene mengene tu smue??
ape.gado ngn org je kene sakitkan hati dier by attacking her weaknesses n bringin up d past eh?
2 b honest,i dun even care krg nk rapat ke nk bestfrens ke ngn i dektu.
doesnt make a diff in my life.
i still consider u all as my frens.
its juz dat at dat point of time wen i saw d pics,i was kinda taken aback.
bcoz y?
bcuz we've always had doz gossips abt 'her'
all doz times we kutok2 dier.u all makin me laugh so much wen u critisized 'her'.
u mentioned abt us pretendin 2 like nana then.
isnt it d same thing den?
korg kutok2 dektu pas tu amek gmbr ni smue.
.........?
i tot u gals undrstood how i was feelin then.
i still wasnt over dat sonofagun.
so wadya xpect me 2 feel?
n at dat time,my sis saw my facial xpression n undrstood it all.
was i angry?no.nt reali.
i dint even xpect my sis 2 tell half d world dat im upset.
or rather.DISAPPOINTED.
i even said suke hati korg la nk kwn ngn sape.
bt if one day d bf u love most leaves u 4 sum1 else,
n u see ur closest frens being 'close' wif dat sum1 else,
MAYBE u'd undrstnd how i feel.
ok dats d past.
eew.cant believe im talkin abt 'her' again.
so now.
yes i FINALLI wanna admit i tink sayin out wad ive said d otha day was a wrong thing 2 do.
i shud haf asked u n wan 4 d truth 1st.
dat was my mistake.
i dint realize how much of a fren u consider me as.
i dint noe i wud disappoint ya.
k fine.im sori abt dat.
bt d truth stays.im nt blamin u 4 d wan klua rev thingy.
ive nvr had any reason 2 get mad at u b4.
bcuz yesss ur always der durin meet ups xept wen u reali cnt cum.
yess we're close compared to the rest.
orait if u dun hate me.
if u tink ur nt cold 2wards me.
tkyala nk ckp i get angry or down easily.
thx 4 spottin my weakness.
i cant even blame myself 4 havin sucha bad temper.
at least i say out wad i feel.or tink.
i dun pretend dat im fine wen im nt.
i dun keep quiet n swallow everythin im nt hapi abt.
yes im very much upset dat u cant go 2 queenz.
bcuz u said no immediately aftr we talked abt wan.
so obviousli being upset wif me,u wudnt wanna go.dats wad i tot.
i was angry abt dat fact.
bt fine its ok if u dun wanna go.
u dun haveta say 'u cant xpect me 2 go everytime u ask'
uve nvr talked 2 me in dat kinda tone b4 u noe.
so i was like,wad d hell is wrong wif diz gal.
aftr dat,i asked u again dint i?
hoping u'll reconsider.
bt u juz replied 'nopes'.
dah.tu je.
dint even xplain.u dint even chat further den dat.
so wad was dat called if nt a cold treatment??
n 4 ur info,im no longer proud of la chicqa dollz.
4get abt everythin we've discussed.
4get abt d dunnoe how many hrs long talk we had then.
4get everythin.
i cant b bothered no more.
maybe i shud juz gif my priority 2 ppl hu appreciate their frens.
im nt pursuing this stupid arguement.
ape nk jadi jadila.
im too tired.
----------------------
cornea infection.
im nt allowed 2 wear my contacts for 2 wks.
haizz..
naah.im nt gonna wear specs all d time.
bt i'll bring it along wherever i go in case i nid 2 read anythin or see bus no.s or sumthin.
blinddddddddddd.aaaaaaaarrgggghhhhhhh.
times like diz.
u realize how important ur eyesight is.
i feel like quitting poly,enter ite,n rot der.
coz dats where i belong.
wif d ppl der.
chao.
Ladysweet Yani