.Friday, November 04, 2005 ' 12:56 pm Y
it was a nite full of drama.emotions.
a nite dats still haunting me till diz very day.
d nite i received a call dat my parents r havin their own war at hm.
dat my parents r hittin each otha.
till der were drops of blood.
when i immediately left d ppl i was wif n took a cab hm asap.
i screamed.i shouted.i cried.
no1 seemed 2 b listenin.
dey onli cared abt hitting each otha.
i had no choice.
i wasnt in d correct state of mind.
i threatened dem wif my life.
i dashed 2 d kitchen 2 get a knife.
i wanted 2 kill myself.
my father stopped me.
finalli i was heard.
i scolded dem.
hurled vulgarities.
once dey opened d door n i saw my grandparents rushin in..
i dashed outta d hse.
i didnt noe where else 2 go.
i was cryin.so hurt.upset.
heart filled wif anger.
dashed across d road n flagged a cab.
went back 2 tamp where i left dem.
him.
he comforted me.
calls.
every1 in d fam was callin den.
was so worried.tot i was gonna kill myself like i claimed i wud.
finalli i told sis where i am.
she came wif khai.
i cant take it anymore.
im back 2 sq 1.
goin 4 counselling.
i realli cant take it anymore.............
i tink im gonna go mad soon...........
n diz rayer..
celebratin wif onli my mum n sis is fine..
till d divorce is final..
we'll be livin here..
n dat sonofabitch refuses 2 pay d bills..
more problems..financially...
he left d hse..
left us 2 struggle on our own...
we're gonna move out soon..
buyin anotha hse...
so diz is my rayer...
thx alot u mfcukin sonofabitch..
i'll remember every single thing dat u did 2 torture us dry..
ur life will 4ever b in misery remember dat..
n i wun 4give u nt even till d day i die.
even granny advised me 2 4give him.
never.
no matter how he repents in d future
no matter how he begs
i'll make him beg
kiss my feet!!
n i'll still wun 4give him.
im nt in a gd state of mind.
so pardon me.
my thx goes out 2 doz hu haf been der 4 me
nameli my bf n suhana..
dun ask me if im ok.
im fine.
Ladysweet Yani